For many people, holidays bring up a wide range of old and new emotional pain. One client of mine is spending time with a relative in active addiction; another is facing a belligerent parent. It can be helpful to have some tools at-the-ready when dealing with our most difficult family members. Rather than avoid, attack...Read More
“What you seem to be, be really. ― Ben Franklin, 1744 1. Buy candy you hate. 2. Place all consumed wrappers in a glass bowl 3. Give out non-candy items such as cowbells/whistles/play dough/tattoo/stickers/Glowsticks etc 4. Remind self that fun size is adult size after 3 of them. 5. Decide to become the kind of...Read More
Friendship is one of life’s most important healthy pleasures, and one too often taken for granted. A Harvard study found that having no friends (or feeling lonely) is as deadly as smoking, suggesting we ought to pay more attention to who we surround ourselves with. The theory of Dunbar’s Number posits that 150 is the number of perpetually changing...Read More
One day you finally knew what you had to do… and began. -Mary Oliver The metaphor of a frog* dropped in boiling water will jump out, but if heated very gradually will be boiled to death, applies to our health too. The gradual degradation hardly gets noticed until one day, we are confronted with the...Read More
As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it. Author Margaret Deland (1857 –1945) There are many ways to age well. I recently took a bike trip and met two women, lifelong friends who had joined the same trip. I was struck by their determination and can-do spirit: even though they...Read More
When my sister was in the throes of addiction, I did everything I could to try to fix her, make her different. No matter what I did, the outcome was the same: chaos and heartbreak. A client spent hours leading a search for a new director. A well-qualified candidate was selected, but the boss said...Read More
He who sows hurry reaps indigestion. Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish philosopher 1850-1894 An interesting study at the Princeton Theological Seminary tells a troubling story about how well-intentioned humans can behave when we are in a rush. The students were given a lecture on the parable of The Good Samaritan, and then were told they had...Read More
When I was growing up, I was one of six kids and my father owned a toy store in Hackensack, New Jersey. What I learned as a teenager, was that his leftover inventory became our Christmas presents. While I slept, the delivery truck from his store would back up the driveway late Christmas Eve. What...Read More
One Person’s Experience with Integrity Comfortable shoes and the freedom to leave are the two most important things in life. –Shell Silverstein A colleague of mine accepted a senior clinical position at a large research hospital She quickly saw that the culture was focused on conducting research, with attention to patients as a secondary priority....Read More
As countries get richer, they do not get happier. The Easterlin Paradox The 2018 World Happiness Report is out and while America’s income per capita has increased markedly during the past 50 years, well-being...Read More
