What you don’t do determines what you can do. Tim Ferriss Feel like you are treading water to stay afloat? Are demands on your life leaving you feeling besieged and depleted? One remedy is the ‘Don’t List’.  Most of us need to say NO more (however, there are some of us who need to say Yes more. I highly recommend a TED talk on...Read More

Mistakes are the portals of discovery. James Joyce I came across an astonishing document published by Engineers Without Borders that applies to the human condition as much as engineering projects. The Canadian division produces an annual “Failure Report” in which they make clear that well- intended engineering projects go bad, often. The topics include forthright...Read More

Stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive. -Hafez (Poet 1325-1390) Noticing how a person smiles can give you great insight into the degree of authentic happiness a person feels. Duchenne smiles occur when there is genuine joy felt, the involuntary muscles of the eye crinkle (crow’s feet) and the cheeks...Read More

In a scientific dialogue amongst social scientists and the Dalai Lama, published under the title Destructive Emotions the notion of American compassion was raised. It was explained that in the U.S., many people have great compassion for others, yet suffer greatly with low self-worth and self-contempt. Our American understanding of compassion applies only to others...Read More

Nothing Ever Becomes Real Until it is Experienced.  John Keats There are several forms of emotional vampires (narcissists, victims, controllers, etc.) who go far beyond aggravating you and have a way of drawing you in and then draining you.  Vampires are different and more dangerous than other annoying people, but they have important commonalities.  Generally, their...Read More

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.—Maya Angelou – American Poet 1928-2014 We underwent a home renovation and like most, it was horrendous to live through. During the process, we had a small fire, a flood, and the entire interior of the house was painted a hideously wrong...Read More

Change your state of mind by firing every thought you ever had and have it re-interview for its position. —Gretchen Pisano One of the five central components of human wellbeing is the ability to feel positive emotions, really feel them. Feeling positive emotions is not the same as thinking them. It means letting the positive emotion...Read More

What you help a child to love can be more important than what you help him to learn. —African Proverb Last month my Aunt Agnes passed away at the age of 86; I have cherished her my entire life. Her funeral was one of the most beautiful I have ever attended. A nun with the...Read More

A Parable on How to Fix What May be All Wrong A friend of mine had a sudden revelation that he didn’t want to go into his office, he hated his job. After being promoted out of his vocation, solving software problems, he was now an executive, managing projects, people, and politics and earning more...Read More

Habits are cobwebs at first; cables at last. —Chinese Proverb There is new research on the habit loop, which finds that when a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision-making. Like being asleep, some habits can be effortless and occur unthinkingly. Hundreds of habits influence our days, how we get dressed, talk to...Read More