“No crying on the yacht” is what I overhead a mother tell her teenage daughter shopping in a clothing store. While a hilarious and abrupt way to identify corrosive self-pity, it can keep the spirit of thanksgiving with us all year-round. A healthy outside starts from the inside. Being kind and compassionate are a natural part of health and lay the foundation for wellbeing, for both our inner life and our relational world.
So when we find ourselves descending into a swan-dive of self-pity, remind yourself, ‘no crying on the yacht.’ Focus on self-compassion (simply the wish to end suffering) and maintain a contended heart. You can absolutely change your brain by sculpting your everyday thoughts and feelings. The brain can change in response to self-compassionate training.
This above all, to thine own self be true
PS: The remedy for self-pity is self-compassion. For a series of world class free videos on the topic of love and wisdom directed at the self and others, go to the Compassionate Brain website.