The Paradox of Hope

Pretending that it can be when it can’t is how people break their hearts.

– Elvin Semrad

Relentless hope can be a defense mechanism, a shield against confronting painful truths. We see this in relationships with narcissists, where victims cling to the possibility of change despite evidence to the contrary.

This phenomenon extends beyond relationships. I ask myself: Where am I refusing to accept reality? What impossible dreams do I clutch tightly?

Yet without persistent hope, human progress would falter. The key lies in the balance – holding possibility and reality simultaneously. As I age, I’m learning that wellbeing comes from flexible thinking rather than rigid expectations.

The healthiest approach isn’t abandoning hope entirely, but cultivating a nimble mindset that can both nurture aspirations and accept limitations. This “both/and” perspective allows us to hope without denial, dream without delusion.

When we release ourselves from the tyranny of relentless hope, we create space for genuine growth – the kind that comes not from fantasy, but from embracing life as it truly is.

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Wellbeing Ideas

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What Trauma Taught me about Happiness

Lindsey Roy nails the harm of having a phantom life….not getting what we want… the phantom life

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Dos and Don’ts for the Grieving

Don’t SAY….

“I know how you feel”
“They’re in a better place”
“At least they didn’t suffer”
“You need to be strong”
“It’s been X months/years, you should be moving on”
“Everything happens for a reason”
“You can always have another child/get remarried/etc.”
“Call me if you need anything”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through” –
“God never gives you more than you can handle”
“Look on the bright side…”
“You’re still young”
“This will make you stronger”
“I know someone who had it worse”
“Aren’t you over this yet?“
“Don’t cry”
“They wouldn’t want you to be sad”

What to say to a Grieving Person
Acknowledge their loss
• “I am so sorry for your loss”
• “I was deeply saddened to hear the news of [insert loved one] passing away”
• “Nothing prepares us for a loss like this”
Express your concern
• “I wish I had the right words, just know I care”
• “I just want you to know I’m here for you in whatever way is meaningful for you”
DO things:
Buy groceries/drop off meals/mow lawn/ care for kids/pets/pick up RX.

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Huge if True

Cleo Abram makes science  interesting, explains a wide range of Big Questions (how we freeze human eggs).  Check out Huge if True on You Tube

Stay Well,  Eileen