What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.
― Maya Angelou
We chase goals while quietly pushing them away. Why?
I recently worked with a client who weaponized humor. Sharp, witty, always finding the punchline—and perpetually lonely. She desperately wanted romance and deep friendships, yet her caustic wit kept everyone at arm’s length.
The culprit? A hidden competing commitment.
It’s not laziness or resistance. It’s an immune system designed to prevent change. While she consciously craved connection, she was unconsciously committed to something stronger: self-protection.
Through coaching on naming the thing that was even more important, she discovered her painful truth—humor was her armor. Every sarcastic quip created distance. Every joke built a moat. She operated on two buried assumptions: If I let people close, I’ll get hurt and If I’m not funny, I’m worthless.
Her defense mechanism was sabotaging her deepest desire.
When you find yourself working against your own interests, go deeper. What are you protecting? What truth are you avoiding? What assumption are you treating as fact?
Your perceptions shape your reality—and perceptions can change.
This insight is no quick fix. But recognizing your hidden commitments is the essential first step toward getting what you truly want.
Sometimes the obstacle is very thing you think is keeping you safe.
You don’t need more time, you just need to decide. -Seth Godin
For a more complete article on on Immunity to Change go HERE.
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Wisdom from Mark Nepo and how adults grow.
1976 John Cleese’s Wisdom on Meeting Hygiene
A Guide to Speaking Less Caustically
Instead of “this sounds like a waste of my time” say, “I’m not really able to bring value to the meeting but happy to read the minutes” Genius.
GO HERE.
Live feed of Namibian Watering Hole
Solace for uncertain times
Stay Well, Eileen
