Forever is composed of nows. – Emily Dickinson
Great lives are built on strong daily habits. Self-regulation and consistent bedrock behaviors prevent larger problems and help us reach our potential, steering us away from destructive patterns like doom-scrolling, poor nutrition, and bad relationships. We don’t want to be in civil war with ourselves. Two important practices on how to establish (or drop) habits come from social science.
- Anchor to Your Identity: Frame your habits around the person you aspire to be. While initially aspirational, this identity-based approach creates a powerful gravitational pull toward your goals. Even during setbacks, reinforce your chosen identity with the statement, “I am the kind of person who…” This is how I gave up diet soda.
I’m the kind of person who…
- doesn’t put harmful substances in their body
- moves every day
- prioritizes sleep
- is fun and easy to work with
- Know Your Pattern: Are you an All-or-Nothing person or do Ok with moderation? Understanding your tendency toward either strict consistency or flexible moderation is crucial. I find daily exercise (with varying intensity) more sustainable than sporadic workouts, as it eliminates decision fatigue and mental negotiations. Similarly, you might discover that completely eliminating added sugar works better than “cutting down”. The RDA for added sugar is 25 grams/day, most blow past that by 8 am. The key is recognizing which approach helps you maintain long-term consistency.
The ability to regulate ourselves is a super skill that allows us to do more in the world, to reach our highest potential. Consistency over heroics
References
Verplanken, B & Sui, J. (2019). Habit and Identity: Behavioral, Cognitive, Affective, and Motivational Facets of an Integrated Self. Frontiers in Psychol., 09 Volume 10 https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01504
Gardner, B., Rebar, A. L., & Lally, P. (2022). How do habit form? Guidelines for tracking real-world habit formation. Cogent Psychology, 9(1). https://doi.org/10.1080/23311908.2022.2041277
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Wellbeing Ideas
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More on Habit Science from Huberman
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How Good People Mess up their Marriages
One of the best discussions I’ve heard on how little tiny behaviors corrode the love. From the author of the blog, My Wife Divorced be because I left Dishes by the Sink. Listen to author discussion on The Meaningful Life Podcast.
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Better way to be Amazed by the World
Network of Time is a website that lets you choose two historical figures and connect them through a series of photographed encounters across time. It’s a fun way to waste time, and fascinating how it visually demonstrates the interconnectedness of human experiences and relationships throughout history. I tried Abe Lincoln and Ellen DeGeneres. It beats scrolling on social media.
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Making Life Easier
A Reddit thread that asks, “What’s your ‘I can’t believe other people don’t do this’ hack?” Here are some tips I had never heard of before:
- I am shocked at the number of people that don’t put their sheet sets in the matching pillow case for storage until use. It keeps it all together.
- Clean out your fridge before grocery shopping! Eliminates mystery Tupperware and always reminds you of something you need to pick up.
- Cleaning before vacation. I’ve seen the light.
- Rub your bathroom mirror with shaving cream. Just rinse or dry off. It will not fog up anymore.
- If you listen to music while you shower or are in the bathroom, set phone in the (dry) sink amplifies the volume significantly.
What’s your “I can’t believe other people don’t do this” hack?
byu/stowRA inAskReddit
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Stay Well, Eileen
